Lovely, Brave and Cherished Forever

Emma Candy died of ovarian cancer on Thursday 5th February, 2004 aged 36 years. A wonderful daughter, sister and friend who touched so many with her warmth and wit. She faced her ordeal with great courage and dignity. Her family and friends said farewell at her funeral on Thursday 12th February in Loughborough and remembered her life at a memorial in London in April 2004.

Emma's life is commemorated at: www.emmacandy.com

Comments

[Sue Hooper]

I only met Emma a few times at family gatherings, but having read through Emma`s Blog, I feel I know her so well. Her courage and humour shine through and her last photo is of a beautiful young lady at peace with herself and with the world.
My thoughts are with Linda, Ernest, Meroe, Robert and Niki plus all who knew Emma. Sue

[Carey]

I did not know Emma, but having received an email from a dear friend of mine from back in the U.K, Nic, I visited Emma's page briefly.

My thoughts are with all who knew her, friends and family. Much Love to you all. Carey x

[Catherine]

How very thoughtful of you all to wrap up her blog, too. It becomes a very important part of a blogger's life. A bound printed version might be a nice idea for those she has left behind.

May your hearts be soothed.

[Kirsty]

Wish I could be there in person.
I'll send a donation and wear my candy pink top on Thursday.
x

[Paul]

I live in Australia, so never met Emma, but we corresponded privately as well posting comments on each other's blogs.

Im so sad to read that she lost her fight...her blog is indeed a tribute to a courageous woman. I know that she was torn between being open and describing everything that she felt and was experiencing, and being more discreet in case her openness hurt those she loved by being too honest.

I think that her blog is a treasure and a credit to Emma and those who raised her and supported her during her illness.

Goodbye Emma, thanks for allowing us into your life, your flame burnt brightly but was extinguished all too soon....

Paul

[bamfordsimon]

This little corner of the digital world is one of the most moving and inspirational celebrations of life I have ever come across.

Every word is filled with Emma's personality and the love that she shared with so many peole.

Despite not knowing her that well, the sheer joy that comes out of these pages has put a dull Monday morning in the office in complete perspective.

It sounds cheap, but if there is anything we can do please let us know.

Love to all

[Thomas]

Although I didn't see Emma as much as the rest of you, what I do remember is of a afternoon when my older brother David was surveying wreaks in Chicester Habour. My mother,Emma and I were eating mintoes and talking about life. The rain was pouring down in buckets but Emma remained as cheerful as ever.

missing you
Tom
xxx

[Kate]

I was lucky enough to get to know Emma in the past two years. We worked together; she was this amazing designer with bags of talent and ideas. She was incredibly creative, smart and professional.

She became my mentor, working with her meant doing the best job we could while still having time for coffee, cakes and a gossip.
She also encouraged me in all my hair brain ideas, becoming a student again, a radio presenter, charity worker, full time skipper; the list goes on and changed weekly!

Emma was also my friend, when she was diagnosed she was scared but most of the time more concerned with not upsetting her friends with the gory details. She did a great job too, when I spoke to her on Friday we had arranged to see each other this week. I had suggested coming to see her on Saturday but Sunday was better for her. I explained I had to go to Lausanne that day and she said it didn’t matter we could play it by ear.

We hadn’t spoken for a while, it hurt her fingers when she tried to text, she mentioned this matter of factly not for sympathy. She was worried she had upset me because I hadn’t spoken to her lately. I explained that it wasn’t the case at all. I just thought that she really only wanted to hear from me about work. Telling her who was doing what project when seemed so trivial, but that wasn’t the case at all she reassured me. It was just that work was what we had in common, but we were more than colleagues and we had loads of time to get to become closer friends.

She told me about the new Emma, about her fabulous brother and sister in law who had done some much for her right from the beginning. Her wonderful Mum, fussing and wearing herself out with worry. She was nervous of you staying at first but loved you so much for all the care you poured on her.

Forgive me for writing so intimately about your lives, particularly from some one who let her down but I wanted you to know how much she talked about you all and how much your love meant to her.

She was an amazing person, I wish I had told her that more often, I wish that my stupid pride hadn’t have got in the way of telling her how much she meant too me. I wish I had been there for her.

I have a column in my mail file for Em’s emails. In the draft box are some attempts to apologise for not writing more often, telling her how much her friendship meant to me and that I was sorry for misunderstanding, for not trying harder.

She was funny, bright, sassy, incredibly talented, incredibly beautiful and had the biggest heart.
I will miss her enormously.

[jean-pierre.husquinet]

I can't believe it,....I didn't had any news from you for so long...I didn't know Emma had cancer, it has been so long since last time I saw her but it is just like yesterday...been crying for a moment and realised she died on my birthday and it made the feeling even more terrible to me...It is really impossible for me to believe there is a god...
Wish i can do something or say something to help, but what???? Always be there for you all...
Love from jean-Pierreyˆ

[Alan]

Reading the Leicester Mercury tonight both caught me unawares, and took me back 20 years in an instant.

Emma (and her remarkable family) touched my life in countless and enduring ways. "Swoon" remains one of my favourite albums. "New England" a favourite song, and just the other day I found the picture of us on stage at the Phoenix in '85. Damn my inhibition at not sending a note through Friends Reunited. There are just so many memories of a time of our lives I will keep for ever.

Reading through the blog (and thanks for putting it in the mercury) it's clear Emma touched so many people, both with her joy of living and her determination to deal with anything this strange old world had to throw at her. That's exactly the Emma I remember, and I am devastated.

Love and regards to all

Alan

[john burgess]

Never met her, didn't know of her until stumbling across her death notice in the Guardian.
Wish I had met her, her brilliant personality shines out through her writings. What a gutsy girl. How do you manage to keep a sense of humour when suffering like that,- loved the bit about the popsicles!
Hope I'm half as brave when my time comes. A great picture at the river. As a Southwark guide it's a view I'm very familiar with but it will now have a new poignancy.
Thank you for sharing the journal with us.
Best wishes

[Neil]

I still have a picture of you, from when you were about 16, in the back garden at Rothley. After twenty years, I still carry a little piece of you around in my heart.
It would seem that the passage of time and opposing sides of the Atlantic ocean aren't enough to take away such happy memories, or the sadness I felt when I heard the news. I don't think that anyone's who's life you touched will ever forget you.
I can't begin to imagine how the family is feeling, but my thoughts are with you all.

Love to all.

Neil

[Charlotte]

For want of something better to write, below is the poem I wrote for my best friend, Emma's sister Meroe:

I never had an older sister…

To teach me what was cool or hot
To embrace the latest fashions… or not

That it’s okay to play an instrument large enough
To needs it’s own seat on the bus
To have (and stick to) opinions
Which are more ‘I’ than ‘us’

To be feminine in Dr. Martens…
… and feminist in kitten heels
To embrace punk and funk
To vogue and chunk
And to slam a door if that’s how you feel

To leave your mark like a legend,
When you finally lay to rest

I never had an older sister…
But I knew one of the best.

Love always
Charlie
xx

[Pip Galton]

Emma and I were at St John's, Leicester together, leaving in 1979. I remember playing at her house, or her coming to mine...having tea....riding bikes...trying to escape from younger sisters..I can't remember why we lost touch...perhaps we ended up going to different secondary schools or one of us moving away...my family moved out to Tilton in the early 80's.
My friend Gaynor and I have organised two St John's reunions now and I know many people from school will be saddened by the news of Emma's death.
She was a lovely girl, a fun friend who I had many laughs with. How brave she was too...I am so sad that she lost her fight with cancer.
We will think about her at our next reunion, whenever that is, and raise a glass.
Pip Galton

[Jessica Melusine Gillece]

I worked with Emma in the Orange US offices when I lived in Boston and I remember always looking forward to her visits. Her wonderful personality always shone through and I feel very grateful to have known her for the brief time I did.

My condolences on your loss and my thoughts are with you.

Jessica Melusine Gillece

[Stuart]

Goodbye Emma, I know it's been years but I have thought of you from time to time. I've still got the Beckett Trilogy you bought me, something like 17 years ago, still haven't read it, I'll probably do that now. Remember the time you did a compilation tape for me, I was rather expecting something more in the 'alternative' vein, but no, Phillip Glass and a few of his mates. Well, I'm still listening and still find inspiration in silence.

I read the news today in the Mercury and reading your blog entries, and all the comments, it appears that you have not changed, always that funny, clever, beautiful girl ... I'm so sad that we lost touch. Very sad...

My condolences to your family and friends.

[Sandy]

Just read your story in the Leicester Mercury, just 4 years to the day, (Valentine's day 2000), since my sister-in-law lost her fight against ovarian cancer at the age of 36.

Reading your Blog brought it all back - I remember the struggle, the pain... but also recognise the fight and determination that Emma had, which is the most remarkable gift of all.

Today, Valentine's day, we spent our time together as a family - mum, dad, brothers, sister-in-laws, nieces and nephews remembering a very brave remarkable young lady and wonderful mum. The grieving goes on, we never will forget, but the legacy that those like Emma leave us with, remains with us forever.

As a family, you are left with this wonderful tribute to her and it must surely bring comfort knowning how special she was to everyone who knew her and also to those she didn't know, but whose life she has touched.

[Wendy Clarke]

I just saw the front cover of the Leicester Mercury and felt compelled to buy it to read your "story",your life,your now "legacy"-Wow powerfull stuff,not sure i should have read it but it was so strong somehow something just made me read it.I work within a Leicester Hospital and see cancer patients each day,tho they are really poorly i try to raise a smile with them and try to cheer patients up,i think i read your "story"to try to gain insight to how people,patients really feel in the world they are so suddenly forced in to-Thankyou for giving me the privalage and honour to read about your world and your life.I never knew you but you certainly have had such an amazing impact after i read it,good on yer girl!for i am so glad you wrote as you did,may God bless You and keep you safe in his care,you are truely a beautifull person inside and out.-Wendy Clarke-x

[Amber Hill]

Have just read the front page of the Leicester Mercury . Was shocked to see someone I recognised , having briefly shared a house with Emma at the end of her final year at DeMontfort Univesity .I remember her as a happy bubbly person , and dancing around the lounge to Delite's Groovers in the Heart .Funny the things you remember.
I felt compelled to write as my 10 year old son , recently went through treatment for Acute Myeloid Leukaemia ,and this site brought back all the memories (however awful) and pain that we felt . Lawrence is now in remission .
My condolances to your family .

[Rob]

On the occasions I met Emma - usually on Christmas Eve at the Woody's there was always a smile which exuded happiness to all aorund. I'll never forget the perfect photo album of our wedding party, artistry made effortless. Thoughts go to Meroe , Linda Rob, Nic and James

[Claire Brown]

Goodbye dearest Emma, I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read your incredibly blog in the guardian today, It was only a couple of months ago that you mentioned your illness to me, and we talked about how we would catch up over lunch when you were feeling stronger. It had been over a year since we worked together at Orange. I remember a great evening chatting and putting the world to rights in Stratford, discussing how we were going to make a difference in the world. I recall that you were always so down to earth and inspiring, knowing what needed to be done, and not taking no for an answer. I will always remember your warmth, humour and determination.

You will be deeply missed. Claire x

[Andre]

I"ve just read about emma in the Guardian.Its the first time an article in a paper has made me cry. in fact I"m still crying. Because of her honesty I feel like I"ve just lost a friend i haven"t seen in a while
I wished I"d known about her diary when she was a live. I would have told her how much her words moved me (maybe next time you have her in your thoughts you could tell her i said thankyou)
Andre

[Derek]

I read the piece in the Guardian and wanted to say something really deep and meaningful. I'm not that good with words so I'm not going to try except to say Emma, thanks for just about the most thought-provoking thing I've ever read.

[Haide]

I only heard about Emma through the Guardian article. I live in Hong Kong and wish I had known about this blog earlier... to tell her weird and wonderful things from over here in the east.

I want to express my great respect, admiration (and a general, strong feeling that I can't find the word for) that Emma lived with great humour, grace and courage.

[Ian]

I'm so sorry. I read about Emma in yesterday's Guardian online. I didn't know what to say then. Emma seems to have touched a lot of people....

Thanks for everything. Best wishes from Stockholm. Ian.