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Dec 10, 2003



No, please keep sharing, puke an all!

Maybe it's not that others are not interested but that foot in mouth syndrome is feared - theirs not yours, and that if someone else is reading the 'events' who's also on the 'party' list they smile with recognition and thanks but energy is needed for the next appointment etc not writing a comment.

Maybe there is another reason why others may seem to not be interested, that they feel like a voyer. A difficult position... they are watching, wanting to to get closer for a better view, to understand, to support and cheer on but all the while not wanting to be seen in any way as wishing to have some insatiable need for more and more info to feed something in them.

Of course there is the other reason that someone elses reality is difficult to comprehend, let alone enter into when it involves Cancer which even in these days has so many myths and demons surrounding it that the view you need to be carrying a sword to get anywhere near 'it' still prevails.

For myself I thank you for sharing some of this journey you're making, maybe I'd like it if you let me in on those days when a sentance that says 'Woke this morning, wretched body was still f**king uncomfortable especially when I eyed a boiled egg... the cup of tea was ok but smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel would have been better. Looked in the mirror and the panda look is definitely here. The morning was taken up with getting up then washed and fell asleep in the chair. Listened to, watched, talked to, slept thus far; oh yes and I went dancing with " and smooched with" and " took me home - quiet day:0)

I suppose what I am saying is I am glad to have 'met' you through this log and would like to get to know you some more and that as far as I'm concerened that's about learning about the things that are important to you which must include the rollercoaster ride you are travelling on at the moment, just forgive my lack of stamina if I sometimes have to step aside and let you zipp past but I'm following you with my eyes and heart and will find the words to comment again.


Yes - we like you just the way you are - puke and all!


Well it's interesting that you think people don't want to appear to be voyers. I'm trying to debunk some of the myths around cancer without making it seem less than it is.

I mean really on a day to day basis the worst thing is that your insides don't work and you can't enjoy food or even go to the loo properly. That is much more painful than any cancer pain.

The hurt and limbo of not knowing what will happen in the future is still there but it is not always as strong as the pain in my tummy!


I think you look really rather gorgeous in both of those photos.


me too...

keep them comin'.

maybe do a "day in the life of candygirl" photo shoot. me think good idea.



Yes indeed I thought about that but it would be just so so dull at the moment!


no point only doing stuff when something special happens... the everyday stuff actually paints more of a realistic and interesting picture.

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