mashed potato-e head

This has to be the most miserable day in London so far this year. A real November day.

It's dark, raining, the kids are out on the street shouting and my head feels like a bus is driving through it.

Someone asked me this morning if this "life shock" had given me a new perspective and drive to do all the things I'd always wanted to. On days like today it is hard to hold on to perspective, positivity and all that jazz. I keep thinking that I should make the most of everyday even through the chemo because who knows it could all get worse from here on. At the moment I can feed and wash myself and get the train to the hospital myself. That said, going out to get milk seems an effort right now.

Saw a Panorama programme last night about the crisis in care for elderly at home. I now have some small small clue of what it feels like to be that vulnerable, to be relying on care from outside. I'm lucky my family and friends will be around for me but not being able to do things for yourself is a real fear.

If I were at work I would not worry I'd just keep my head down in my emails till home time. Instead I'm trying to squeeze as much as possible out of each day.

Hard when your brain feels like mashed potato-e.
(Ooo that looks wrong with an "e" on the end).

Comments

[Steve Glover]

You say potatoe, I say potato.. hmmm.. that reminds me of some song...

Hope the weather clears, and the bus moves on :)

Without the dark, we'd never know the light... or so the saying goes.

[Paul]

Well Candygirl, hold out your hand and let me smack it.

Five times.

SMACK!
That is for mis-spelling potato in a J Danforth Quayle stylee

SMACK!
That is for mis-spelling vulnerable, so as to make guys think you are not as smart as you really are

SMACK!
That is for using "you're" instead of "your", althought you know the correct usage, you minx!

SMACK!
That is for mis-spelling potato AGAIN, like you are some sort of serial recidivist

SMACK!
That is for letting seasonal affective disorder mess with your spirit. You are a spunky chick, and you dont want me smacking you all the time, do you?

Or do you ? ;-)

SMACK!

[candygirl]

I am ashamed at my poor punctuation and grammar. Though it just goes to show how poor I was feeling yesterday.

The only excuse I can give for the "you're" was I changed the sense of the sentence halfway through writing.

I have corrected my deliferate mistakes.

Potatoe I was being funnye....

[candygirl]

and I don't think it was seasonal affective disorder. I think it was a really bad head due to 5 days of chemo. Though you never can be sure

[candygirl]

Potatoe - Potato
with a yank for a boyfriend I'd better say potatoe - tomatoe

[Paul]

Deliferate?

That is a trap, right?!

You spell your words your way, girlfriend, but I hope that your bf raises your spirits. P