candygirl

I'm a designer working in mobile. Taking time out to give my body the best chance of recovery.

about me - may I be frank?

I'm 35 years old. female.
I live in London.
I have cancer.
Three years ago I was scanned for an ovarian cyst. I was told that it was normal.

It wasn't.

On June 12 2003 I was informed that I had suspected stage 3 A ovarian cancer. My surgeon Frank gave me the news. This diary is dedicated to him. He changed my life.

Now the monster has spread widely and I'm having chemotherapy to shrink what cancer is left after my two operations to remove my ovaries. On 22nd Sept 2003 I was halfway through 4 cycles of 8.

Having cancer isn't all bad. I am more popular than ever and have a great social life. Somehow people make more effort than they ever did before. I don't know if it is guilt or whether they realise that life really can be too short and we need to make more of our friendships that really matter.

I planned to write my story when I was first diagnosed. I took pictures of myself everyday and hoped to chart my demise through the chemo and the recovery out the other side. It seems it is more of a roller coaster than that and you just never know what will happen.

I thought I would instantly lose all my hair the drugs usually do have that effect but the head freezing cold cap I wore through my treatments ment I still have all my hair by Oct 2003. It seems superficial and girly but it has ment I can feel more normal and get through the day without people staring.

Getting 'cured' seems a more difficult prospect altogether.